I haven't done a "Tea Break" for a while, mostly because I was very pregnant and wasn't working in the van for ages, I was also very unsure about what I was doing with my Substack. Now I have decided to dedicate it to my “story time” sessions and overall obsession with picture books, but I also want to throw in “tea breaks” as I really enjoy writing all about the highs and lows of running a coffee shop in a close knit community.
For all my new subscribers, this is my coffee shop that I run in my local park in Wales UK. I have been running it for three years and every Tuesday I host my storytime sessions along side it.
Today is a rainy day in Wales, most days are pretty rainy in Wales with Swansea actually being voted the second most rainy city in the UK a few years in a row. I don’t normally mind the rain, but it has now consistently rained every week since July and frankly its taking the piss. I wouldn’t normally mind, but being that my business is an outdoor one it drastically effects our takings.
I used to like sitting in the corner listening to the rain on the roof of the caravan while reading a good book and drank copious amounts of tea and had various types of cakes on offer and if it was somebody else’s business I would be landed. But unfortunately its mine and i’m skint, so I would like some sunshine now.
The book I am currently reading on this rainy day in the Caravan is “Iron Flame” The second book in the “Empyrean series” by Rebecca Yarros. Its all very spicy and dramatic and it has dragons and war. I got recommended it after I finished the “A court of thrones and roses” series. I am not ashamed to admit i’m currently living my “fantasy girl era” and LOVING IT.
Any more spicy fantasy recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
For some reason when your pregnant and for a while after you have given birth the tired and tested British question “ you alright” when greeting someone changes to “How you feeling?” and unlike when someone asks you “you alright” they actually want to know “How you’re feeling” and it still throws me off balance.
Today I got asked “How I’m feeling?” by a woman who we only know as “weird tea lady” she asked me how i’m feeling, how the baby is and actually cared about the answer, then proceeded to order an earl grey tea with ludicrous amounts of milk, two sugars and the tea bag had only been dipped in, its light beige at best and frankly an abomination to tea everywhere.
“What’s Welsh brew tea?”
Someone asks this at least once a month, and i’m forever trying to come up with funny answers to the question.
Most welsh people know it’s just a “normal” English breakfast tea made by the Gower based company “The Welsh brew tea Company” so that’s what we call it on the van.
but here are some of my answers…
· It’s just a normal tea but with a daffodil in it.
· You can only drink it while listening to Tom Jones.
· You must be able to kick a rugby ball over the caravan before you can have it.
· It’s brewed with the tears of Welsh Miners
· It has dragons in it.
· You must sing all of “bread of heaven” before I can give it to you.
· You’ve got to try and say Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. (genuine name of a train station in Wales)
Customer - “Can I have a coffee please?”
(Can I just state that this is the equivalent of going to a pub and asking for a pint or a bookshop and asking for a book. Please state what you want in full.)
Me - “Yeah what would you like, latte, americarno, mocha?”
Customer looking very panicked- “umm one in a cup please?
Joyce comes passed the purple haired lady who doesn’t stop talking and never knows what day of the week it is…
“oh hi vikki, hows things, god your looking great since having a baby, where did you get those leggings from, you looks great, I can wear leggings I hate my ankles, oh I saw matthew the other day hes always busy on his laptop when hes working here does he have another job?”
With Joyce its best to just always answer the last question rather than go through the whole conversation.
“No he doesn’t have another job Joyce he’s just busy doing admin for the van, and other bits and pieces” I say.
I feel bad lying to her but I also don’t want to tell her Matt is playing football manager.
“Can I have a tea with a dash of milk please”.
One of my favourite things is seeing what people say when they ask “a little bit of milk”
Including
A splash
A dab
A smidge
A blob
A dip
A dash
A blip
a Tip
I always do the tiniest amount, which when showing them inevitably be followed with “ can I have a bit more milk please”
Alan one of the Park keepers (who looks like remarkably like Percy the park keeper from the nick Butterworth books) comes to the caravan to grab a lemonade.
Alan is a keen car-booter and charity shop goer and collects many many things while on his travels and often shows them to me when it’s quiet. Today was a folder full of thunder birds cards and a tardis money box.
“Is there anything you would like me to find you in the charity shop?”
Its not very often I get men in their 70s offering to do some shopping for me, and as much as I love Alan he doesn’t quite have the same eye for fashion I do. However Matt and I do love some Royal memorabilia, give me a mug with the queens face on or a tea cup of Charles and Diana and i’m a happy girl.
So I asked Alan to try and find me some plates with Princess Diana on.
He seems pretty happy with his task and goes on his way.
Hopefully by Monday I will have some new royal merch.
I will keep you updated.
Often when running small business, a lot of people have opinions on how you could run it better, its normally well-meaning and friendly and people are just suggesting something to you that you maybe haven’t thought of, which is really nice. But sometimes extremely annoying.
There is a guy who walks past every day with his wife and two tiny dogs. He’s a lovely man, chatty and supportive of the business, not with money which would be actually helpful, but with compliments and unwanted advice.
Over the years he has suggested we should ….
Serve alcohol (even though our license wouldn’t allow it)
He’s suggested getting a second caravan and putting it at the top of the park, even though it would double all our costs, bills, and over heads, and we would have the same amount of foot fall, and no electricity to run the van.
and at one point even suggested we serve Sunday dinners… out of a caravan…in the park.
Today was no different.
“ Van is looking lovely today Vik, all your plants are looking lovely”
“Aww tha…”
“Have you been looking into bacon baps like I told you”
Normally at this point someone would come along and save me by ordering a cuppa, but unfortunately today its raining and I have no escape, so I just have to listen to him while he asks me why i’m not serving Yorkshire puddings.
Well today has been very underwhelming in the takings department…. but I did finish my book, and hopefully by Monday I will have something fun from Alan and the car boot.